Le Cookie Chirps

OKAY, PLEASE SOMEONE THUNK ME ON THE HEAD WITH A TITANIUM MALLET OR ANYTHING BECAUSE I THOUGHT I POSTED THIS POST BUT NOOOOO I DIDNT. HOW LAME CAN I BE RIGHT. LIKE VERY LAME. YEAP. SO ACTUALLY THIS POST IS SUPPOSED TO BE POSTED ON THE 12TH OF JANUARY 2009 BUT TODAY IS 16TH JANUARY.. DAMN SWEATNESS. SO, ENJOY.

SO SORRY FOR THE LAMENESS.

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Yesterday, i went to the Star Education Fair at the KL Convention Centre with yasmin.

If you still dont know, i’m going to take up psychology and maybe branch out to developmental psychology and maybe clinical psy, i dont really mind either one because im really interested in both. And if God willing, i’d love to specialize in adolescent psychology. Cool, aint it?

and Yazzy’s gonna be a sports psychologist! you have my support, girl! :D

when we arrived, we went round from monash - sunway - inti - help enquiring about the psy course offered. and thank you SO VERY THE MUCH yazzy for being my bodyguard agreeing to accompany scaredy-cat me to the edufair. i really really really from the top bottom left right of my heart, appreciate it.

i just wished we could spend more time gallvanting at KLCC. but nah, we always have another time, no?

at around 2.15pm we started searching for the conference hall 1 & 2 to attend the talk about ‘Funding Your Higher Education’ and yes, the place up there (level 3) was so quiet and empty, it DID make us feel important! and one thing ive always like about the buildings in KLCC is how it’s beautifully built, the cleanliness and it’s so neat and simple. when i was working, i always loved to explore the surroundings when i was at level 41/42. sometimes, i get so out-of-focused, some visitors will just disappear over the visiting barrier.

but i was never in deep trouble. nah, im way too innocent to be scolded. HAHAHAHAHAHA

Anyway, there were tons and tons of people! God knows where they all pop out from! Mostly were students with their parents (such a creepy sight, they had this ‘Get-out-0f-my-way-because-all-the-places-in-this-uni/col-is-for-my-kid-muahahaha-and-youre-just-a-loser’ look.. sends chills to me bones) and some came with their boyf/girlf and some alone while others, like me, came with their bodyguards friends.

we got into the hall and sat in the middle. the chairs were bloody uncomfortable, a little way high for my liking, but my hump’s too bootylicious & cushiony to be sore!

there was this girl in a blue shirt who came and sat right next to me, when there were a stretch of chairs on our row. i didnt mind at all but since i was too busy interrogating yasmin, i didnt really talk to her. we just exchanged timid smiles, that’s about it.

the talk was around 1 & 1/2 hours and after it ended, yazzy & i went to Burger King to get some food! We were already famished by then but the food at the convention centre were so cut-throat and they didnt look that appetizing anyways, just a freaking waste of moolahs.

i got cheese sticks & nuggets while yazzy got a burger, ate them on the way back to the hall for the 2nd talk which was about Allied Sciece aka Nursing, Radiography, Pharmacy, Psychology & the like. And the same blue-shirt girl came right up and sat next to me. But after like 15 minutes of so, she got bored of reading a book (i think it was ‘Applying to The U.S’ or something like that) and left.

the 2nd talk was kinda fun because Dr Goh from HELP who talked about psychology was very energetic & hyper. (someone like me, just that im still waaaaayyyy to hyper than him) Hence, i did enjoy his talk and it was very informative.

Dr Goh : (explaining about the types of psychology) And here we have Forensic Psychology.

ChiRa : Eh Yasmin, we should take up Forensic Psyhology.

Yazzy : ….Why???

ChiRa : Because we’re evil people. (does evil laugh) MUAHAAHAHAHAHA.

Yazzy : Hahahaha!

when he finished explaining about psychology, we left the hall.

(A whole string of people leaving the hall.. like.. a load of them)

Pharmacy Course Speaker : Uhm.. okay. I dont think I need to ask who’s interested in Pharmacy then.

ChiRa : MUAHAHAHAHA. (Please dont ask me why I do the ‘Evil Laughter’ so  frequently. No, Im NOT evil)

after the whole edufair thing, we went to eat at McDs because it’s been a long while since we both had McDs. I love you, McD. I love you, Fillet-O-Fish.

(no, i dont care about losers who say… ohmygod ChiRa. Fillet-O-Fish is so [insert insults about my beloved burger here] and is [insert more insults] etc etc etc. I love fish, tqvm. and I love my fish fillet from mc donalds. Thank you for creating a scrumptious fish burger. i still remember the alaskan fish burger thing, if im not mistaken, it was by KFC (thank you KFC for the great fish burger but why must you take it away) and i ate that everytime i/my parents went to KFC. and i’ll happily gobble up my mum’s if she cant finish it. yum!)

wooh. i got a little carried away there. whooops!

then we headed to Kinokuniya (one of my favoutite bookstores around! i could stay there for HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS AND.. you get the point) to have a look see at some of the books.

-Minor intervention-

Ai-Suan, if youre reading this, you MUST MUST read Tales of Beedle The Bard!! It’s an awesome book! Not mind-blasting or supercalifragilisticexpialidociously awesome but it’s a great book! i read it when i was in tesco with my mum. and the book is SUPER thin, i finished it in less than 20 minutes! trolley-pushing was SO much fun that day! people were staring at the nutty me pushing a trolly who’s deeply engrossed in that book. whee!

-MI Ends-

then yazzy remembered she got to go to her friend’s open house and poof we went home. I waited for my mum who went to see my aunt at ampang park to arrive at kelana jaya lrt station while yazzy crossed over to her dad’s car.

Yasmin, thank you so much for accompanying me. Im so sorry that lunatic balloney of a guy mistaken you for a bodyguard (if you want, i’ll happily punch the living daylights outa him for you) and that i was taunting you about it in the hall (i’ll celotape my mouth when we hangout together next time okay)  but i really appreciate it. Thanks for always being there for me to hang on to all these years and babe, i got your back too!

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to my dear relative in spore, Juliana, i wanna wish you deepest condolences from all of us here to you and your mum. baby girl, i know you will stay strong because you are naturally a strong person. julie, if you need anything, im here for you. at least, we all know that he is in peace and will be in a better place. im sure your dad is very proud to have a daughter like you, no matter what. work hard and succeed in life. i know you can do it!

im so sorry that i couldnt go to spore. my mum, bro & i really wanted to join my aunty but we had critical problems on our own. but our prayers are with you. :)

Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat & ditempatkan bersama orang-orang yang beriman. Amin.

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Suan, thanks for the pictures of your trip to sydney! I’d like to post it up on my blog someday, theyre gorgeous. Esp the view of the Sydney Opera House. but the whale bones are just plain scary.

TT_TT those poor whales.

and i’ll inform you on which friday im free to see you for the tour of the place! man, that’s so cool, the main thing i wanna see is.. of course, the LIBRARY.

im such a nerd. xD

thanks so much, Suan. you’ll always be my strawberry girl!

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life so far is still the same, but im wallowing through with the help and optimism of my friends. thanks you guys for keeping me ever so sane. nabs, dont always be idle on gtalk. shiqs, hurry up and aprrove me on facebook. irene & hadeel, im still waiting for you to come to pj.  iylia, get a facebook, messengers/phone is not enough.

and thanks Nenek Timah for getting me the gorgeous purple dress! it’ll b my new skating dress (if i go skating, yazzy, let’s go skating!) and yes, im looking forward to you bringing me to the Spore National Science Centre. i LOVE science centres, it’s like the best place evahhhh!

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i really dont know what to write anymore.

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im so tempeted to just apply to sunway. monash is so out of the question already. apart from the extorbitant fees and that it’s more towards psychology in business (omg, i cant even sell a pencil to save my life), it’ll just remain a dream to study there (seriously, i dont know what is the deal between me & my obsession with monash. i just heart monash). The next choice will be INTI and i dont know.. HELP?

sigh. i performed the Istikharah Prayer last night and i hope i’ll get some guidance soon. Optimism, i need loads of it.

~~~~~~

my cat is so cute. she’s been curling up a lot beside me in the glass bowl.

*boinks*

she’s 4 years old now. can you believe it. how time flies, people. my baby’s so old already.

(sobs)

~

xoxo,

ChiRa

I think by now most of you knew what happened right? Maybe a lot of you out there are still unaware about what’s going on but if im not mistaken, all my closest & bestest friends have been notified, regardless of the reactions that followed suit.

anyways, due to some reasons, i cant disclose the address but here’s a very nice and touching post the lamp-post bestie tributed to me. Im touched and i really appreciate it. You dont have to bother reading the whole thing, yes yes, i know it seems to come out from some lame & loser betul award-winning female literature-ish novel (it’s very wow-wie, infact.) but it’s my blog and i can post up whatever my heart desires.

and i can read it as many times as i want whenever i load my bloggie. =)

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Last Tribute for a Bosom Friend

My dearest friend,

To be truthful, my heart had nearly stopped beating as my eyes skimmed through your unexpected phone message this morning. For a slight moment, I felt betrayed; I was completely at a lost as to how should I best respond to this heartbreaking news. Many things went through my mind, and I could not seem to determine clearly what they were. I was really not sure myself; for they seemed almost like rapid flashes of memories of our nearly two-year friendship – ranging erratically from the unsaid happy times to those grim moments which had hurt the two of us.

Even as I am writing this post for you, I feel so empty and nearly rendered myself to total speechlessness. Right now, all I want is to have some peace and to actually understand what it really feels to have lost a person so close- an ally, a confidant, a critic, and why, almost a sister! To think exactly how it will be in the coming days of not seeing you, eating with you, or even talking with you in person anymore is just too much for me. Knowing me, dear friend, you should have known just how hard it would be for me to accept this state of chagrin. Hence, how could anyone accuse me and say this loss of mine is indeed not great? Grant me strength for this, O Lord!

Dear friend,

No, I am not vexed. I was only a trifle disappointed, for the foolishness of mine to be so confident of not losing you. How could a mortal being like me thinking of never suffering the loss of yet another friend of mine? That was absurd, almost unthinkable! I should have known, and so, I made a resolve to prepare myself for now on, lest I should hurt myself, and you, dear friend, once more.

Thereby, I check myself from this point onwards. This last tribute of mine, my cherished friend, shall be one full of hopes and promises. Even though the ‘last’ sounded sad enough, I will endeavor not to make you feel the dread of reading this post. For last it might be, it is made eternal here, in written form where no termites will bite, and no moss will grow on it. Be it two, five, ten years to come, here, in this post, shall be my affectionate thoughts for a much-treasured friend. I do not want to lace it with any bitterness, but instead, it shall be engraved with all kinds of warm memories you yourself bestowed on me. I myself too, as I have mentioned, shall put in writing all my hopes and best wishes for you.

Dear friend,

I will embrace the wills of God and make this parting less hurtful for both of us. I will go on with my life. I will always persevere in whatsoever I might be experiencing; never stopping to glance behind. I will make you proud of me- your dear lamp-post of a friend. I shall always make you the first to always hear my successes, and always the first too for my misfortunes. You, my dearest friend, will always and always and always be there for me- as you yourself have promised. I am counting on you for that, and you can count on me for the same thing, as well.

I understand your choice, and I respect your decision. I only entreat you, my friend, to excel in the field you have chosen. This is your road, and it shall always be so. I wish you the best from the bottom of my heart, and I will always pray for your safety, your health, and your success. May God be with you wherever you are, and He will grant you peace in everything you are doing. Always remember, dear friend, I am here and will be glad to receive a message from you once in a while. Our friendship will be made stronger if only we both take the care of not letting it fade through the years to come.

I feel myself getting more and more Jane Austen-like and I know you will think of me as being a total lame person for writing in this manner. But I feel that by writing in this manner, somehow, the heavy weight of sadness is lifted substantially and it causes me great relief. My friend, wipe your tears for me no longer for I do not want this parting to be an extremely sad one. I know deeply, one day, we will meet again by His wills and perfect time. Trust in God, my dear pal.

Therefore, dry your tears this instant! No more sorrows will surround you anymore. Let the light come in your windows as you begin your life afresh! Let the tomorrow come to you and make you a new person once more! I believe, dear friend, nothing is impossible if you really put your heart and soul into doing it. With my support, are you still not encouraged? If you still are in such miserable a condition, I must say I shall give you a spanking you will never forget for the seven generations to come. This threat of mine will serve its purpose for many years, my dear friend. Kindly recall of it whenever you are caught in a hard spot in your sweet remembrance of me- your confiding friend.

This life is indeed full of surprises, dear friend. We will never know for real what things lay ahead of us in the near future. Only we need to accept that this life is predestined, and nothing happens but for a lingering purpose. I believe in this myself, and I know our friendship is not a mere coincidence. From the very first day we met to the day we last saw of each other, God has planned all of these in advance. Even this parting, and not to mention this post of mine, is predestined! Thus, I must thank God for you, and your endearing affection for me, even though I am such a worthless person. I thank God for your fortitude in facing my terrible temper and unpredictably bad moods. I thank God for this patient confidant, always lending her ears for me, even though I spend much less of my time for her. My dearest friend, please accept my infinity of gratitude for each and every thing you have done for me. Given more time, I wish I could do more for you than to say helplessly, “I really love you”.

Ah! Humans are such frail creatures, dear friend. We always wish and plan and talk, but hardly many of us do walk the walk. I am of no exception as well, for I sincerely think I plan a great too many things, and yet I could hardly accomplish any of them. But my friend, as I have said, I do not want this parting to be sad, but rather a memorable one which shall leave me of no more remaining regrets in regards to you, my dearest. And for now, aside from the “I really love you”, I feel the urgency to utter this, “Forgive me.”

When I said, “Forgive me”, please do forgive me for my shortcomings and for those times when I hurt you unknowingly. And for the times I took you simply for granted. Now, I could comprehend fully when a Malay proverb says, “Far is of fragrance of a rose, and near is the unbearable whiff of a ‘tahi ayam’ [directly translated will be-droppings of a chicken] flower.” But, no, I do not want to lose this moment to make it clear to you that you have been a brick, a mortar, in fact, everything! My dear friend, I am proud of you despite your flaws. I gladly accept you for who you are because no one could ever be like you. You are indeed special!

My dear friend,

Please be strong and never stop praying for yourself. I believe God is always there for you. Remember that, will not you? Your parents’ decision and your friends’ encouragements will not be of any importance or significance if you yourself do not make the big first step towards a brighter future. Forgo your misery, and choose to only dwell in assurance of a greater and better prospect in your field that you have chosen yourself. I, as your bosom friend, will always pray and support you and doing all I can at the expense of even my own life.

Dearest friend,

Do not cry any more for you have earned an endless trust from your friend. I am ever waiting for the day when we could meet again. Miss me you will, but never make yourself saddened at the thought of losing me for I could assure you once more- You have not lost me.

I will and remain to be your ever faithful friend, and ally,

Leslielinda.

(January 8th, 2009)

And this, with a final parting note, is for you.

But you are way better than those springs.

~~~~~~

ahhh… the great wit & sense of humour nabs has. i loved the last part especially, hahaha.

and yes, i am officially announcing that i am leaving utp. and please people, i am NOT expelled/terminated/kicked out/banished/exiled from utp, i just decided to leave on my own will.

it’s been such a painful week for me but i feel so much better now. I was crying and laughing hard at nanots’s post. I havent been like this ever since the letter Bee Trice gave me before she left for Australia and Bee, of course I’m still keeping it.

anyway,  it’s 3.17am and tonight see’s me finally chatting with Hadeel, chatting my heart out with Chiew Yi in the UK, sending a long long email to Ai-Suan, GTalking with Irene the whole night long and publishing this post.

I am so tired about everything, it’s like experiencing 1001 different feelings at once and it makes you feel so helpless because youre alone in eduring it. I’ll definitely be back soon to write a blog that’s on a much more lighter note. and the Hatyai trip!

I’ll be spending time with Yazzy this sunday at KLCC for the EduFair and im really looking forward to it. And maybe tomorrow, i’ll dedicate my time talking to iylia on the phone. My relatives from Perlis came to my house today so our conversations were more like these :

1. (After 10 minutes)

ChiRa : Iylie iylie, i got to go. I gotta help my mum. I’ll call you back. Bye!

Iylia : Huh? Uh okay.

2. After helping, I’ll call her back.

(after 15 minutes, with my mum yelling for me at the top of her voice)

ChiRa : Uh  Iylie. My mum’s calling. I gotta do chores. I’ll call you back.

Iylia : What chores are you doing??!!

ChiRa : My mum kan masak and now theyre done eating, I gotta clear the table.

Iylia : Okay.

and then i got so tired having to call and then end the call after a mere 5/10/12 minutes, i decided to just spend time talking to her tomorrow. So, instead of calling, we SMSed each other while i was walking with them at the mall we brought them.

oh and to make things more sappy and fun, i’ll write a nice nice lovely post to all my dearest pals at utp. like a farewell letter.

HAHAHAHAHAHA. how awesome is that???

Dear God, how more lame can I be?

and now, off i go watch ouran high school host club. Im never bored watching that. and off i blast music into my ears as a means to destress. and ive been feeling so sore on my fingers after banging them so hard while playing the piano. and at the highest volume too. (i play it when my parents are out, which is often, thank God!) When i’m depressed, i just LOVE to have loud loud music. And now, im going to self-teach myself a new song! Through The Arbor by Kevin Kern (and maybe Sundial Dreams also by Kevin Kern which is super hard ohmygawd my eyes were dilating when i saw the notes.)

and worse still, i didnt know i had the notes for both songs. you see, i bought a whole book just for one song - Angel Eyes (by Jim Brickman) and when i was sorting out my pieces, i stumbled  upon the book and poooof! new songs for me to learn!

and my previous 1 mile post is full of errors, no shocker there. I really must come online often.

And faraness, my gorgeous dah-ling, i request a pic of a pin-up hamster.

Heh.

xoxo,

ChiRa

today is one of the worst day in my entire life.

i dont know how to tell each of them personally.

im so sorry, you guys. I love each of you to pieces, i missed/is missing/will be missing you guys so much and it hurts me to do so but please understand.

i understand if you’ll get mad at me or hate me, i know i deserve it but i hope you’d think it through and accept it.

im still in the moment of gathering the strength and is in an all-time low but still have to put a cheerful appearance upfront.

i am really, really, really sorry.

Much regret,

ChiRa